Better Than Your Last Meal

Hi. I’m Matthew Broderick.

You may remember me from such classic movies as “The Night We Never Met” or “On Valentine’s Day.”

Just kidding.

Most of you know me as the smart aleck kid from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

I’m here to tell you about a new weekly home meal delivery service tailored specifically to your unique tastes.

We call it:

Better Than Your Last Meal

Every week we search the planet for a species about to go extinct.

Why let the last of its kind suffer an agonizing, lonely death?

Instead, let us humanely prepare these animals for you, served with side dishes of plants that no longer have a natural environment.

As we say in our line of business, this is an offer you can’t refuse!

Happy eating, everyone!


During our 10-day holiday, one of the aquaria at home was fouled up when the automatic fish food feeder flooded the surface with flake food and the filter/pump clogged up.

I lost the Borleyi and thought every fish had died.

I cleaned the detritus out of the aquarium and saw no sign of the plecostomus last night.

Today I walked by the aquarium and there was the plecostomus, bright and golden as ever…